Things at home were not getting any better. I was starting to see less and less of Grant because he was  working hard to help his mother find a new home. She made it verbally clear that she did not want me involved, nor did I want to be around her.  She was very particular about what she wanted. She did not want to rent, she was going to use her payoff money to put a down payment on a house of her own. Grant was going on house searches and visits with her, but nothing ever seemed to be right, or didn’t fit her requirements. So the search continued on…

It was really hard for me to be at my house. I felt I couldn’t be there, I didn’t feel safe around Grant’s mother, and especially his brother. I was feeling tremendous guilt over the fact that I would look for any excuse or reason to leave the house. But I felt like my hand was forced. If I was around the house Josephine would find any to let me know her disgust toward me.

Resentment was starting to grow between both of us, for different, yet understandable reasons on both sides. 

Grant and I were not spending very much time together at this point, between him being with his mother, and me having to be away from the house because of Josephine. Though he was doing the best he could in dealing with Josephine, It was affecting how he and I were feeling about each other. Resentment was starting to grow between both of us, for different, yet understandable reasons on both sides. 

I was feeling resentful because I felt like I was a prisoner in my own home. I had no say over the happenings in it, and if I so much as looked at someone the wrong way, my whole world could collapse. Not to mention me being away from home so much made it so I couldn’t be with my dogs as much, I couldn’t have them for long periods of time when staying with David and Ellie, their apartment complex didn’t allow it. I also felt abandoned by Grant. Everything was about his mother, and he was bending to her every whim. Though this feeling was irrational, because he had to do what he was doing, I felt alone. 

We tried hard to hold onto our love, and though we loved each other, it was beginning to feel like love just wasn’t going to be enough to save us. 

Grant felt deserted by me. And I see why. It was a losing situation for us both. He felt stuck on his own dealing with everything that his mother was throwing at us. I couldn’t be involved per Josephine, so he had no choice but to do it all on his own. Her demands on both of us made us resent each other for the roles we were forced into.  We tried hard to hold onto our love, and though we loved each other, it was beginning to feel like love just wasn’t going to be enough to save us. 

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David used to spend most of his weekends with Natalie. This happened because Ellie and I got to see him during the week, so she felt she deserved the weekend. During the time that he was with Natalie, Ellie and I became closer. We would hang out with each other on the weekends. We would go on day trips to various places around Massachusetts, we would do activities with her niece. She became one of my best friends.

Ellie and I decided to ask David to hang out with us one Saturday afternoon. He agreed to it, and we decided to take a day trip into Salem. Natalie was not happy about this, but David stood his ground that this was something that he wanted to do with Ellie and me. We spent the day walking around downtown Salem.

On the way we had the windows down, listening to a random mix of music that both David and I liked, ranging from the Backstreet Boys, to Eminem, to Anamanaguchi. It was a fun ride. I remember watching David in aww. I really did love him. He was sitting in the drivers seat, singing, with a big authentic smile on his face. His short brown wavy hair glistening in the sunlight let in by the sun roof. I was happy.

We went out to eat at this really cool pizza place in downtown Salem called Flying Saucer Pizza. I immediately loved it because it was decorated in space pugs! That’s what I said, PUGS!” This was right up my alley. They also had very creative pizzas, and they are beyond tasty! 

After lunch we walked around, I got to see the Bewitched statue for the first time! That was really neat, and they took me to a really cool comic book store called Harrisons Comics. They had so much paraphernalia from media ranging from anime such as Sailor Moon, to video games, and regular comics. The geek in me was in love!

One of my favorite video games growing up was Super Mario Bros. I was super excited to see plushies of characters and items from the game! I was also super excited to see a PINK Yoshi! I didn’t even know that they existed! PInk is my favorite color, and yoshi was one of my favorite characters. I had to have it. Because it was close to Easter, David bought it for me as a gift! Pink Yoshi became the protector of my car, sitting in the back window. I still have Pink Yoshi in my car to this day! 

The fact that he bought this for me today meant the world to me. The last thing that he was buying for me as a gift, I ended up having to give him money for, because Natalie didn’t want him buying me gifts on their vacation. So this was technically one of the first gifts that he gave to me, outside of a Christmas gift! 

We ended our afternoon at Salem Willows! We went down on the beach and collected sea glass! I have been collecting sea glass for years, and I put the glass in a beautiful vase. It is full of glass from different beaches that I have visited! We had some ice cream at the little shop at the end of the short strip of shops. And then we went back to their house for the night! It was a beautiful day of togetherness, and bonding between David, Ellie, and I. 

Highlights/ Learned Experiences:

!) Again, make sure when making big decisions, like buying a house, with other parties, make sure there are legal documents in writing before you make the deal.

2) You can love people so much, and sometimes you realize it’s not enough to maintain a healthy relationship.

3) It is important to advocate for your wants and needs. By Ellie and I expressing our want to spend a full day with David together, he made it happen. 

4) Pugs make me happy….. This is all.